Feast of the Holy Family

Sir 3:2-6, 12-14
Ps 128:1-2, 3, 4-5
Col 3:12-21
Mt 2:13-15, 19-23

The Feast of the Holy Family comes at a time when it seems like you need it the most.  You kids have had a few weeks living very close to your parents and you Parents have had a few weeks living very close to your kids.  Spending a lot of good quality time together with relatives is producing what experts and Jack Nicholson (cf. The Shining) call, “Cabin Fever”.  And so at this point, you might be thinking: hey, I need a break from my family.  Well, since we are celebrating this feast of the Holy Family, Holy Mother Church says you’re wrong.

This special feast is really unique for us because it is the Lord’s Day and a symbolic of a mini-Easter and so we typically don’t celebrate any feast days of anyone on Sunday; unless they have to do with our Lord.  And this is an aspect – a side that we don’t often think about: our Lord had a family, a Holy Family of St. Joseph and St. Mary from Nazareth.  What does it mean to celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family?  What does it mean for us?  The Holy Family serves as an exemplary model of how our family life should be.

Let’s look at the Holy Family, this exemplary model.  You have a St. Joseph, who’s engaged to this young woman and everything is great until she finds out he finds out she’s pregnant – didn’t know who the daddy was.  He was barely able to get a place to stay when his wife was about to give birth.  And now we hear today, that this new son of his is a wanted dead and the whole family becomes fugitives in an alien country.  When they moved back, they had to re-locate again and when they went to Jerusalem for a celebration they lost their son in the Temple.  This whole time in the scriptures, St. Joseph does not say a single word [the strong silent type, I guess; but I bet you know what he might be thinking…  You look at this Holy Family and you see that it is not a perfect family where everything is a white picket fence around your mud house with a tire swing around the Sycamore out front and a tree house in the back.

When we see the Holy Family and all of their struggles we realize something: there are no perfect families on this earth – every single one, even the ones that seem like it’s impossible that there could be any problems at all – there are no perfect families – at least in the sense of impeccability.  However, there are plenty of *holy* families – families that trust in the Lord and live together in holiness and overcoming their struggles through having faith in God.  And that is the lesson from in the Holy Family and bring into our own families.

Everyone is responsible for doing and being their part of the family.  But what does this mean?  This means that our individual faith comes first.  So as a as a single person (a teenager, college and beyond) before you even consider dating, you must take charge of your Catholic faith, know what it means to be a Catholic, and live it out daily – not just going to Mass on Sunday or on the day of your wedding. “Oh, my Catholic faith is important to me, that’s why I want to get married in the Church.” or “Oh, my Catholic faith is important to me, and that’s why I want to get my child baptized.”  Whatever....  If your faith is important to you and you are truly living out your Catholic faith, the priest that is marrying you or baptizing your kid can already tell if you are living your faith.  Believe it or not, you are preaching a gospel at all times, whether or not you are using words.  Hopefully it is THE Gospel of Jesus Christ and not YOUR gospel of relativity.  Personal sanctity and holiness is essential to a holy family – your parents can’t carry the faith for the family by themselves nor can your children can’t carry it alone.

Husbands, Fathers, and Men – it is time to man up and be the man that God has called you to be.  Learn and live what it means to be the man of the house.  I am not talking about the stereo-typical Neanderthal caveman, I am talking about the example of St. Joseph – a man that communes with God through the Angels.  That listens and is obedient to Him; that looks out for his family, provides for his family, has the prudence to be quiet in thoughtfulness, and the courage to protect his family.  Naturally, these are things that you are supposed to do; even the world out there knows to do that.  The difference between you men here and the men out there is that there is a life of holiness, spirituality and sanctity; a life lived in and through the faith, having that intimate relationship with God.  This isn’t something that your wife or Mommy does herself, this is something that involves you and demands that you lead your family into that life – you are the head of the Domestic Church; be a man, get on your knees and pray.  The Church needs men to do what they are called to do: defend her honor, work and labor for her, provide for her.  And in the domestic church this calling is no different; it is a form of gallantry and chivalry on a supernatural level, calling you to be greater to be better than the men out there.  When you can truly lead your domestic church in a spiritually healthy life, navigating the rough waters of life, and leading them towards safety – your wife will entrust herself to you, listen to you, and trust you to lead the family.  If it hasn’t happened, then it must be earned; not automatically given.

Wives, Mothers, and Women, you’re not off the hook either.  The intimacy that you have with your children is unmatched because you mothers know your children nine more months than your husbands do.  The time that you spend with them, the way they nurse and eat.  All these are natural womanly things. But when we look to the Blessed Mother, we see a woman of obedience, of trusting in her husband’s directions and protection, and spending her love on her child – all these under the foundation of her solid faith in God’s providence – this is the supernatural calling.  How many times have you women tried to make things perfect, through your scheming and planning, and then have it failing and falling apart? How many projects and hobbies have you tried to take up and then have it come to just collecting dust somewhere with almost nothing to show but a ceramic pencil holder or fruitbowl?  How have you tried to trust in God – to lead you to what God has called you in finding a good husband, finding a good home, raising your children?  Or how have you trusted in God when your children go off to college, you feel like you have to call every moment to make sure they are okay?  If you are finding yourself so busy with keeping the house in order that you forget about God, remember then that you must be a Mary, not a Martha: Mary sat at the foot of Christ and listened to Him.  How have you helped lead the family in holiness?  Have you inspired your husband to grow in holiness?  Have you led him to think of God more?  These things cannot be accomplished without you yourself having that personal relationship with God.  You cannot give to your spouse what you yourself do not have in yourself.

Although I live a celibate life, I still have a family and I often get to experience the joys, sorrows, and difficulties in the family of our parishioners all the time.  Often I see the whole Church like a giant puzzle and there is much time I spend in prayer pondering and thinking about how I fit into His plans to save the world.  The family is falling apart, divorce is high, and we are in a disposable culture – which includes not only material things, but people too.  The Holy Family is something that I am starting to see as a necessary devotion: for us to ask in intercession, to pray in meditation, and to emulate in example.  The Holy Family did not have a perfect life, rather it lived the perfection of Holiness.  The Holy Family lived by the Faith and lived in faith – trusting in God to provide for them always and without fail. Let us find inspiration and example in the Holy Family to lead us to Him, so that we too may live by that rock solid foundation of Faith.