Jos 24:1-2a, 15-17, 18b
Ps 34:2-3,16-17, 18-19, 20-21
Eph 5:21-32
Jn 6:60-69
Good morning! I know it’s really early in the morning and I had to write out my homily because I know I’m not quite all there yet, but I’m going to ask that you put your thinking caps on for what I am about to say because I am going to be talking about binary numbers. Ready? There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those that don’t.
The reason I bring up binary numbers is because I am simply fascinated by what can be done with them, machines and computers are all running on ones and zeroes and yet we are able to have HD TV, computers performing billions of calculations a second, and calculators doing advanced calculus. All from two simple numbers or in layman’s terms: on or off. When you think about it, our lives are filled with decisions that we have to make. We either do this and say no to that or we do that and say no to this, we drive this route rather than that route; we take this vacation rather than that vacation. Our lives are filled with yes’ and no’s, choices . When we take this route, we are saying no to that route. When we buy this car, we are saying no to all the other ones.
In today’s Gospel, the last of the “Bread of Life” discourse from John 6, the people are questioning Jesus. They are unable to accept such difficult words that He has just claimed that his flesh and blood are true food and drink, This saying is hard; who can accept it? They say. They murmured and questioned, and finally they leave because they cannot handle what Jesus is saying. Jesus asks Peter, Are you going to leave to? He is faced with a very difficult question: he is having just as much difficulty as the others, but he resolves to allow for his faith to lead him. To Whom shall we go? you have the Words of eternal life. When we are faced with the difficult crossroads in our life, we must resign and resolve ourselves, to defer to God in leading us and guiding us in making these difficult decisions.
So our lives are filled with binary decisions, yes’s and no’s. However, there is a different kind of binary choice that I would like to talk about – being polarized. Sometimes we reach a point where things become a little myopic. We get flustered or frustrated and what seemed like a few choices before is now polarized to a fight or flight of situation. The more highly charged a situation gets, the more polarized people can get – and so you don’t have many yes’s and no’s but rather a very narrow view and our vision becomes blurred and we don’t realize that there is always a choice to follow the will of God.
For example: Let’s say a wife and husband are ready to go out somewhere nice, “Honey does this dress make me look fat?” BOOM! Instant deer in the headlights for this poor guy – a potentially highly charged situation. A zillion answers are rushing to this man’s mind as he wants to say the right thing and of course he has to say it in the right way with the precise and correct tone of voice that projects confidence and truth to his answer. This may seem like a mine field for any man; the situation becomes highly charged and the option or freedom to respond is greatly limited. He has to give an honest answer, with charity, that will not anger and or disappoint his spouse. In reality, this is a simple question with a yes or no answer. [“Honey does this dress make me look fat?”... “Yes, you look beautiful honey!”]
When we take a look at the passage from Ephesians, we come to – at least in this day and age – a very controversial topic. Growing up, the boys would looooove this passage and the girls would never be able to get past those first lines – “wives should be subordinate to their husbands as to the Lord.” So the how does one respond to something that is so highly charged, that can be so polarizing. There is that temptation to get very polarized and upset about what we are given here in this passage. But if we take it slow, we can read and accept what St. Paul is trying to say and reject what he is not saying. We have choices, we do not have to get “polarized” but rather meditate on this passage and see the beauty of the Word of God speaking to us: no agendas, no polarization, but rather truth in charity.
The very first verse: Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ, should tell us that this is not about marital hierarchy and male dominance, but how does Christ fit in the marital relationship. The following verses make an analogy that the wife is to the Church as the husband is to Christ. St. Paul outlines this with an analogy, but he does not stop there. Husband love your wives…DUH! Again, if we stop there and have the temptation to get polarized: the guys got it easy. When compared with the wife’s responsibility and the husband’s, it would seem pretty one-sided. But we read on…
Husbands, love your wives,
even as Christ loved the church
and handed himself over for her to sanctify her, ["A crucifixion type love", cf. http://youtu.be/7E9doP6EtHk ].
cleansing her by the bath of water with the word, [allowing the Scriptures to cleanse, purify and sanctify]
that he might present to himself the church in splendor,
without spot or wrinkle or any such thing,
that she might be holy and without blemish. [to be holy and clean and pure as the day of her baptism]
So also husbands should love their wives as their own bodies.
He who loves his wife loves himself.
For no one hates his own flesh
but rather nourishes and cherishes it,
even as Christ does the church,
because we are members of his body.
Wow…. This passage is just so profound and beautiful. We all know what happened to Christ when He came to this world and handed Himself over for our sanctification. Guess what men… you have a nearly impossible task ahead of you. You have the responsibility to do what Christ did in this world for your wife: to lay down your life for your wife, your family, to not only provide for their material well-being by working, but also to sanctify them and get them to heaven. That is your responsibility – it is practically saying, “If your wife and your family don’t make it to heaven, it’s your fault!” You got to holy-fy your family and if you don’t, you have failed as a husband and father! And this responsibility is as serious as Christ on the Cross. Husband love your wives – this kind of love is a sweating drops of blood at the garden of Gethsemane, being scourged at the pillar, being crowned with thorns, bearing a heavy cross, mocked, ridiculed and finally crucified with nails in your hands and feet, and pierced in the side kind of love. And all this done out of complete and utter love and devotion for the sanctity of your wife and your family.
Wives out there do you want that kind of responsibility for your family? I know I wouldn’t, I can barely keep myself together let alone other people. I know a lot of wives would not want that kind of task: to be in charge of somebody’s salvation. But you know what? I would not be surprised to see some of you wives and mothers out there saying, that they are already doing that, that they have already taken that responsibility. That’s great; just know that you are doing more than your fair share – doing your husband’s job. The question you must ask yourself next is, am I doing my job, am I subordinate to my husband? =) Are you letting him and allowing him to do his job? Women in general have come so far in recognizing the dignity of their sex and I hope true injustices, especially in the workplace, be rooted out. My challenge to you is not to be polarized and react to the command for you to be subordinate, but rather to explore what God is really saying through the writing of St. Paul, to explore how the feminine Church is to the masculine Christ and see how you can fulfill that admonition. What is the Church without Christ? And what are you without your husband? If you are thinking “good riddance”, then I must say I fear for the future of the Church. There are qualities and differences between the two that do not necessarily imply superiority or demean the other but have a respectable dignity in both. Do not let the word “subordinate” polarize any of you in thinking one is better than the other.
And Husbands – it’s time to step up to the plate – if your wives are going to be subordinate to you, you had better be a true Christ figure for your family – perfect in example and self-sacrificing in love, no complaining, but selfless love for all the members of your family, just like Christ is for His Church. Otherwise, your wife must fend for herself and her salvation. Remember the vows that you made on your wedding day, recommit yourselves and take the example of Christ and His Church as your example. I challenge you to ask yourself how you are going to lead the family in sanctity and by way of life? Are you prepared to offer yourself? To have a crucifixion kind of love for your spouse?
We are at a binary crossroad in our life. This is a highly charged passage that can either lead us astray in our relationship with our spouse and perpetuate the consequences of Original Sin since the time of Eden, or it can lead to a deeper conversation and experience of God’s plan of salvation. You can either be swayed by the trends and fads of a feminism that is divorced from our Faith or a feminism that exalts the true dignity of women in all her goodness and beauty as God had originally intended. You can be swayed by the trends of machismo that is misogynistic and self-serving or one that is in imitation to Our Lord Jesus Christ. The choice is yours today.
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